The Office Jim Halpert Quotes
“It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, a karaoke machine, and I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax, and you know, have fun, and my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks that I’m making Dwight up. [sighs] He is very real.” – Jim Halpert
“That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just… took ’em all out.” – Jim Halpert
“There’s this thing that people tend to do with billboards. How do I put this? If there’s an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a… phallic shape, interacting with the artwork, it’ll happen, and Andy gave them that opportunity.” – Jim Halpert
““Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don’t sound that funny one after another. But he does deserve it, though.”” – Jim Halpert
“I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress the receptionist who will remain nameless.” – Jim Halpert
“They might not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years… and years… and… years.” – Jim Halpert
“My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.” – Jim Halpert
” I’ve never been a kiss up. It’s just not how I operate. I mean I’ve always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work, half-heartedly.” – Jim Halpert
“You gotta take a chance on something sometime, Pam.” – Jim Halpert
“Having a baby is exhausting. Having two babies? Now that’s just mean.” – Jim Halpert
“What the hell’s a rundown?” – Jim Halpert
“This is a fire cracker-free wedding.” – Jim Halpert
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, welcome! I know you’re all very excited but, no matter who gets this, I just wanna say that you guys are all employees of the month in my eyes.” – Jim Halpert
“I don’t understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.” – Jim Halpert
“Everything I have I owe to this job…this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” – Jim Halpert
“Tomorrow I can tell you what a great boss you turned out to be. Best boss I ever had.” – Jim Halpert
“I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.” – Jim Halpert
“Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” – Jim Halpert