Bob’s Burgers Linda Belcher Quotes
1- “Two people, together forever. Security in life! And someone to love ya! Instead of being all alone, such a lonely existence. I’d kill myself!” – Linda Belcher
2- “Rich people run funny. Must be all the money in their pockets. Or their big, rich, golden wieners. Eh, it’s probably their wieners.” – Linda Belcher
3- “I’m gonna write a parenting book. I’ll call it: ‘Hey You, I Saw That, Put It Back!’.” – Linda Belcher
4- “When I die I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck’s face.” – Linda Belcher
5- “No boys, no parties, no summoning spirits.” – Linda Belcher
6- “It was a time in Japan when the evil monsters would attack the nice little villages for no good reason. And the only force in all of Japan who could stop them are…Hawk & Chick!” – Linda Belcher
7- “I was going to punch you, but I’m holding wine.” – Linda Belcher
8- “Women do not wanna be tricked into having sex.” – Linda Belcher
9- “Awww, so cute! Your burger and his beer are making little belly babies!” – Linda Belcher
10- “I’ll be like Al Capone with breasts.” – Linda Belcher
11- “Yay! Cookie dough ice cream!” – Linda Belcher
12- “Oooh, mashed potatoes.” – Linda Belcher
13- “I’m not snooping. I’m just noticing.” – Linda Belcher
14- “Whoo, throw a ripped wedding dress on this daiquiri ’cause it is not a virgin!” – Linda Belcher
15- “Only strippers shave above the knee.” – Linda Belcher
16- “Well, I may have slipped a penis pill in your casserole. Surprise!” – Linda Belcher
17- “Nonsense or mom-sense?” – Linda Belcher
18- “You got to fight crazy with crazy.” – Linda Belcher
19- “It’s science, Bob. You’re not supposed to understand it.” – Linda Belcher
20- “Wine helps me drink.” – Linda Belcher
21- “”Your 3 is grass.” I don’t get it.” – Linda Belcher
22- “Tammy can go sit in syrup. Let the bees get her.” – Linda Belcher
23- “If you like the same food or sex angles, you’re compatible!” – Linda Belcher
24- “The problem is I don’t have a friggin’ drink in my hand!” – Linda Belcher
25- “Well there wasn’t a raccoon king in our alley until I went out there and picked my favorite one.” – Linda Belcher
26- “It was a time in Japan when the evil monsters would attack the nice little villages for no good reason. And the only force in all of Japan who could stop them are…Hawk & Chick!” – Linda Belcher
27- “I love showers and mornings and bologna and turtles and wine!” – Linda Belcher
28- “Rich people run funny. Must be all the money in their pockets. Or their big, rich, golden wieners. Eh, it’s probably their wieners.” – Linda Belcher
29- “Don’t tell me not to have a crap attack! I’ll have a crap attack anytime I want!” – Linda Belcher
30- “The boys hate dancing, and the girls won’t go to the boys. It’s like a Mexican stalemate out there.” – Linda Belcher
31- “I had the video game company take your game away because I love you. It’s like the time you took away the credit card from me when I was ordering all those porcelain babies.” – Linda Belcher
32- “All this talk about shooting is making me thirsty. Why don’t we pull the trigger on a glass of wine!” – Linda Belcher
33- “Oh, go suck on a crouton.” – Linda Belcher
34- “My dutch baby! It came out in 22 minutes! Aw, its a preemie, just like Jesus.” – Linda Belcher
35- “I dreamed that I was breast feeding Gene again, but he had a long, white beard, like Santa Claus. Oh, it was freaky!” – Linda Belcher
36- “Hit him in his handsome groin!” – Linda Belcher
37- “Trippity-dippity- dippity-doo” – Linda Belcher
38- “No one sheds like this family, it’s like a bunch of Chewbaccas.” – Linda Belcher
39- “You’re a hurtful slut, Bob!” – Linda Belcher
40- “Good kids eat cotton, bad kids eat notton” – Linda Belcher
41- “Mommy doesn’t get drunk, she just has fun.” – Linda Belcher
42- “Running down the gutter with a piece of bread and butter,…Diarrhea!” – Linda Belcher
43- “The real tragedy is that I don’t have time to get nachos before we start.” – Linda Belcher
44- “Alright!” – Linda Belcher