Seinfeld George Costanza Quotes
1- “Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.” – George Costanza
2- “I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.” – George Costanza
3- “I’ve never assisted in a birth before. It’s really quite disgusting.” – George Costanza
4- “Listen carefully. My mother has never laughed. Ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee…never went ‘Ha!’” – George Costanza
5- “Just let me ask you something. Is it ‘FebRUary’ or ‘FebUary’? Because I prefer ‘FebUary,’ and what is this ‘ru’?” – George Costanza
6- “Why does everything have to be ‘us’? Is there no ‘me’ left? Why can’t there be some things just for me? Is that so selfish?” – George Costanza
7- “Lunch is fine at the beginning, then you move on to dinner. You don’t move back to lunch. It’s like being demoted.” – George Costanza
8- “Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.” – George Costanza
9- “I don’t think I’ve ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.” – George Costanza
10- ” Jerry, my face is my livelihood, my allure…my twinkle! Everything I have I owe to this face.” – George Costanza
11- “She thinks I’m a nice guy. Women always think I’m nice, but women don’t like nice….Why is nice bad? What kind of sick society we are living in, when nice is bad?” – George Costanza
12- “Articulate—me? I’ve never articulated anything, I’m completely incoherent.” – George Costanza
13- “I think if one’s going to kill oneself, the least you could do is leave a note—it’s common courtesy. I don’t know, that’s just the way I was brought up.” – George Costanza
14- “When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy.” – George Costanza
15- “Yeah, I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up.” – George Costanza
16- “The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli…” – George Costanza
17- “Hey believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they’re gonna relate to? Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship?” – George Costanza
18- “Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that! Yes! I understand women. The snub is good, they love the snub.” – George Costanza
19- “You’re luscious. You’re ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra. I’m terribly sorry.” – George Costanza
20 – “I can’t die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn’t die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?” – George Costanza
21- “If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.” – George Costanza
22- “I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think ‘That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.’” – George Costanza
23- “I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.” – George Costanza
24- “I’ve never assisted in a birth before. It’s really quite disgusting.” – George Costanza
25- “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.” – George Costanza
26- “I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor?” – George Costanza
27- “You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect” – George Costanza
28- “I’ve driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution” – George Costanza