sheldon big bang theory quotes
“Bazinga!” – Sheldon Cooper
“I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at 14.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Hard as this may be to believe, it’s possible that i’m not boyfriend material.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Penny, while i subscribe to the many worlds theory…” – Sheldon Cooper
“If rock is so great, how come paper beats it?” – Sheldon Cooper
“No matter where I am, this will always be my spot.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Mother, she’s an atheist, not a vampire.” – Sheldon Cooper
“You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no butts, no coconuts.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!” – Sheldon Cooper
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stop listening to you” – Sheldon Cooper
“I hope laughter is the best medicine because this care package is a joke.” – Sheldon Cooper
“How on earth can you say “dirty sock” and “relax” in the same sentence? – Sheldon Cooper
“This is a documentary about Mr. Spock. I’m sure if there is nudity it will be tasteful.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Some important new information has come to light. Women are the worst. I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I’ve already had to say goodbye to 11 Doctor Whos.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Professor Proton is dead?” – Sheldon Cooper
“I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.” – Sheldon Cooper
“You can’t make a half sandwich. If it’s not half of a whole sandwich it’s just a small sandwich” – Sheldon Cooper
“I feel like my mind just made a baby. And, it’s beautiful. It’s not like human babies which are loud and covered in goop.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can’t take this away.” – Sheldon Cooper
“My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Welcome to the Thunderdome, Kripke.”– Sheldon Cooper
“Revenge is a dish best served nude.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Well, you should. 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness” – Sheldon Cooper
“To paraphrase T.S. Elliot, this is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a nephew.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Leonard, I platonically love you man, but face it, you’re a mess.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.” – Sheldon Cooper
“People say you can’t live without love, I think oxygen is more important” – Sheldon Cooper
“Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Remember people we’re only as strong as our weakest bladder.” – Sheldon Cooper
“A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a drink?” The bartender says, “For you? No charge.”” – Sheldon Cooper
“One cries because one is sad. I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad” – Sheldon Cooper
“I don’t trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATM’s will lead the charge.” – Sheldon Cooper
“The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn’t be attacked.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I do not have to urinate. I am a master of my own bladder. Drat.” – Sheldon Cooper
“I’m not crazy; my mother had me tested.” – Sheldon Cooper
“If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?” – Sheldon Cooper
“The need to find another human being to share one’s life with, has always puzzled me. Maybe I’m so interesting all by myself” – Sheldon Cooper
“Goodnight, and if there’s an apocalypse, good luck” – Sheldon Cooper
“If you’re interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn’t chicken as if it were chicken” – Sheldon Cooper
“Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that” – Sheldon Cooper
“Apparently you can’t hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.” – Sheldon Cooper
“You know, I’ve given the matter some thought, and I think I’d be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens.” – Sheldon Cooper
“It’s very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors” – Sheldon Cooper
” It must be humbling to suck on so many levels” – Sheldon Cooper
“I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion” – Sheldon Cooper
“Everybody has a date. Even you Mario, going after Princess Peach. What am I doing? I’m just enabling you.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Howard. You do not have a PhD. Your cologne is an assault on the senses, and you’re not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays” – Sheldon Cooper
“All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy.” – Sheldon Cooper
“Oh! Mario, If only I could control everyone the way I control you” – Sheldon Cooper
“A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary” – Sheldon Cooper
“That’s my spot” – Sheldon Cooper