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Best 50 “Peep Show” Quotes

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Peep Show Tv Show , Tv Series Quotes

Mark : “If text kisses were real kisses, the world would be an orgy.” 

Mark Corrigan :  “God, she’s so posh that I, Mark Corrigan, who was privately educated until dad’s British Aerospace shares went kaput, could be her bit of rough.”

Peep Show quotes

Mark : “God, it’s so easy being a freak, no wonder they’re ten a penny.” (Mark)

Mark : “While we’re at it, there are systems for a reason in this world. Economic stability, interest rates, growth. It’s not all a conspiracy to keep you in little boxes, alright? It’s only the miracle of consumer capitalism that means you’re not lying in your own sh*t, dying at 43 with rotten teeth.”

Mark : “Yeah, you won’t be so cocky, Jeff, when I come into the office with a Kalashnikov and 200 rounds of ammunition. I’m probably exactly the kind of person who could end up doing something like that.”

Mark Corrigan : “Maybe this is what it’ll be like after the apocalypse, wandering around depressed, shooting children for fun.”

Peep Show quotes

Super Hans : “You’re not just a man any more – you are a man with a van. You get a van, Jez, we could be men with ven.”

Jez: “Aren’t we supposed to be living in a multicultural democracy? And isn’t that the point? You know, the Jews, the Muslims and the racists all living together happily side by side, doing and saying whatever the hell they like?”

Super Hans: “People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people, Jez.”

Mark : “Nothing from Dobby since Christmas. I want to call again, but when I leave long messages, I have this nagging sense that I’ll end up hearing them being played back to me in a court of law.” 

Mark : “So unhappy. I wonder if anyone has ever been this unhappy while drinking champagne.”

Mark : “Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants. That’s the rule. Makes a man look scary, like a chicken.” 

Peep Show super hans quotes

Jez: “Not the Hootenanny! Never the Hootenanny! We’re better than that”

Mark Corrigan :  “What am I doing? This isn’t me, I can’t have an affair! I’m not French, I’m the least French person on the planet, my favourite cheeses are Cheddar and Red Leicester!”

Jez: “Justice is done. Not actual justice, but what I wanted to happen, which is basically the same thing.”

Mark Corrigan: “Jeremy, there are many things I would do to help you. But digging a hole in the wintry earth with my bare hands so that you can bury the corpse of a dog you killed is not one of them.” 

Mark Corrigan: “The absolute worst thing anyone could say about you is that you were a selfish, moral blank, whose lazy cynicism and sneering, ironic take on the world encapsulates everything wrong with a generation. But you my friend are not evil.”

Peep Show Mark quotes

Mark Corrigan : “Okay, here we go, wedding day. I am heading for a wedding. How do I feel? Empty, check. Scared, check. Alone, check. Just another ordinary day.”

Mark Corrigan : “God, this is like the Dark Ages. Centuries and centuries with nothing to look forward to except ‘the slim possibility a Viking might break down the door and rape me.”

Super Hans: “A suitcase with wheels? Real men don’t get the earth to carry their luggage for them, mate. They carry it themselves.”

Jez: “I love the homeless, one of my own would be amazing. I could look after him… not like a tamagotchi… better.”

Peep Show  super hans quotes

Mark Corrigan :“Jeremy, there are many things I would do to help you, but digging a hole in the wintry earth with my bear hands so that you can bury the corpse of a dog you’ve killed is not one of them.”

Jez : “Is this a terrible idea? It can’t be, it’s in a film. They wouldn’t put a terrible idea in a film, they’d get sued.”

Jez : “I’ve watched Grand Designs with you. That smile when some eco-glass gets delayed on its way from Antwerp and the nice couple gets pushed over budget. That’s the real you.”

Super Hans : “Tell you what, that crack is really moreish.”

Mark Corrigan: “Jeremy. There are many things I would do to help you. But digging a hole in the wintry earth with my bare hands so that you can bury the corpse of a dog you killed is not one of them.”

Jez : “Like when they fed all the cows to the other cows in the ’90s and we got what was it? Super-burgers?”

Peep Show mark quotes

Mark Corrigan: “OK, here we go, wedding day. I am heading for a wedding. How do I feel? Empty, check. Scared, check. Alone, check. Just another ordinary day.”

Mark Corrigan : “Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants, that’s the rule. Makes a man look scary, like a chicken.”

Super Hans: “I’ll tell you what, that crack is really moreish.”

Mark : “I’m the Wolf of Wall Street. Look out, Boots! I’m going to buy 100 meal deals and eat them off a prossie in the nude.” 

Mark : “A new boiler. Surely the least enjoyable way to spend a thousand pounds. At least throwing the money out of the window you’d see the scrabbling mass, the hate-filled faces. I have spent a cool grand on acquiring the resumption of an equitable temperature.”

Mark Corrigan : “Sure, an orgy sounds great, but you’re basically just multiplying the number of people you’re not going to be able to look in the eye afterwards”

Mark : “I don’t want sweet punani action, I want to take your bishop and grind you down.”

Jez: “Not the Hootenanny! Never the Hootenanny! We’re better than that.”

Mark Corrigan: “I like you. Is that such a crime? Should I be hounded to the ends of the earth, just for liking you? I like you, and if you can’t handle it, you can just, you know, f**k off.”

Jez: “Oh yeah. Pissed and stoned in a gas-guzzler; this is the life. Already given a quid to Greenpeace this year so I’m golden.”

Peep Show  super hans quotes

“Please don’t touch my floppy cock.”

“Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, Jeremy. Welcome to the real world.”

“Love life may be a rather grandiose term for staring at women on the bus.”

“Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can’t face reality.”

Peep Show  super hans quotes

“This is a fantastic evening. I’ve become a military historian and Jeremy’s future happiness rests in my hands…And I’ve got a tiramisu. This is f*cking amazing!”

“Floss is boss, floss is boss.”

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