Only Fools and Horses Tv Show Quotes
Del Boy : “There’s no point in running away. Running away only wears out your shoes.”
Boycie : “I have heard rumours Mickey Mouse wears a Rodney Trotter wristwatch.”
Del: They asked me what I thought about Hamlet. I said I preferred Castellas.
Del Boy : “One of my most favouritist meals is Duck à l’Orange, but I don’t know how to say that in French.”
Del Boy : “I see it as a combination of my business acumen and salesmanship, and your ability to drive a three-wheeled van. Badly.”
Del Boy: “Oh, leave it out Rodney, you couldn’t flog a black cat to a witch!”
Del: There’s gota be a way! He who dares wins! There’s a milyon quids worth of gold out there, our gold. We can’t just say ‘bonjour’ to it!
Del: “Asking a trotter if he knows anything about chandeliers is like asking mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes”
Del Boy : “I used to be a midfield dynamo, played like Paul Gascoigne. Boycie used to play like Bamber Gascoigne.”
Rodney: My mum’s left me, my wife doesn’t love me and some bastard’s nicked my bike!
Del Boy : “I got a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu.”
Boycie : “I have never been so insulted in my life, do you know how much I’ve spent on that garden? You think I’m going to dig a hole in it?”
Rodney: I’ve got this ‘orrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I’ll come back as me!
Del: “Did you hear that Albert? That little sort Rodney’s been chatting up down the pub only owns a pub, The duke of malburry!”
Rodney : “If you had been in charge of The last supper it would have been a take away.”
Raquel : “Derek, will you get it into your thick skull, I’m not trying to meet intelligent and sensitive people, I’m happy with you.”
Del Boy: “He who dares wins. He who hesitates… doesn’t.”
Mike: How’s life treating you, Denz? Denzil: The same as Paxo treats a turkey!
Del: Hello Ranji my son! Ere i saw your misses on tuesday, shes got a terrible spot on her forehead aint she!
Del: So on your way home you meet a sick woman. Instead of phoning for a ambulance you touch her. What do you think youv got healing hands!?
Del Boy : “Of course he couldn’t swim, he only had one bloody arm. He would have gone around in circles, wouldn’t he?”
Rodney :Yes, I’ve checked it on my birth certificate and everything, its definitely Rodney Trigger: So what’s Dave, a Nickname like?
Rodney: ’Ere Boyce. This car’s a GTI. If you rearrange the letters, you’ve got yourself a personalised number plate.
Grandad: I don’t know why they want these drug addiction centres. Ain’t we got enough drug addicts without recruiting ’em?!
Del: “Hello Ranji my son! Ere i saw your misses on tuesday, shes got a terrible spot on her forehead aint she!”
Boycie: Trigger doesn’t have many friends or opportunity for social outlet. Every weekend he goes to the park and throws bread to the ducks.
Del Boy : “Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier that you’ve ever sailed on, but now you’ve gone and knackered a gravy boat.”
Rodney: i got a bit of a cash flow problem Del: So do half the people on this estate but they don’t came round here eating my egg and chips!
Marlene: Did you have a nice Christmas? Del: Terrific, yeah. Marlene: I had a dog. Rodney: Yeah? We had a turkey, same as every other year!
Jonathan Ross: What state was president Kennedy in when he was killed? Del: Well he was in a terrible state weren’t he he died!
Denzil : “We might go out, get to know each other a bit, you know. Might like each other then – who knows? – in time maybe she might do some ironing for me.”
Granddad : “You couldn’t blame him the way them Germans was carrying on. Someone was gonna get hurt.”
Del: Look at Grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left.
Grandad: Your dad always said that one day Del Boy would reach the top. Then again, he always said Millwall would win the cup!
Doctor: Do you have trouble passing water Mr Trotter? Del: Well I had a dizzy spell going over tower bridge once!
Rodney : “Trigger with a computer? Do me a favour, he’s still struggling with light switches.”
Rodney: You don’t fancy having a little fly then? Del: No i do not! I want to keep my feet firmly on the old terracotta!!
Indian Waiter: What rice would you like? Delboy: Av you got any uncle bens?!
Boycie: Have you ever spent an evening in Trigger’s flat? It’s like having a seance with Mr Bean
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