“There’s a sexy new singer in town, and guess what.He just turned 13.”
“This summer, I’m gonna see 50 dicks.”
” I wanted you to know I saw another gay film today. It had way more sex than “Brokeback Mountain”. But I think I liked it better.”
“Exactly. Nothing should be longer than a “Gilmore Girls.””
“when you’re alone with your thoughts in bed tonight, you’re not gonna look back at this party and think, “That was fun fun.””
“Oh, you’re gonna love her. She has 8 million followers.”
“Your first tweet was, “Twitter is retarded. Come at me”.”
“She steals from Starbucks. She never drinks water.”
“He’s walking in with his lucky date and what appears to be an old Backstreet Boy.”
“I want to run Hollywood. I’m gonna sit on the top floor of a very tall building and be in charge of everyone.”
“I read “Rolling Stone” all through high school. Did you? Well, no, but I did masturbate to the one with Justin Timberlake on the cover , like, all of 2003.”
“we could play a sexy little game. It’s called, “What Musician Do You Hate?” Not sure how that’s sexy, but… I guess Maroon 5 kind of sucks.”
“Viewers will be able to watch any camera at any time. So if you need to yawn, burp, sneeze, fart, do it now and do it fast.”
“Gay misogyny is real.”
“I love women. I think all pilots should be women, and I think all flight attendants should be…”
“I’m gonna donate 10% of my album sales to the American Cancer Society!”
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