1- Ma Mary : “Dont say knickers in front of your father, he cant cope!”
2- Erin : Im pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isnt very high up on anyones political agenda
3- Sister Michael : “If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me.”
4- Michelle : You cant ring Childline every time your mother threatens to kill you.
5- Orla : I dont smoke either, I just like meltin stuff.
6- Uncle Colm : The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he ‘Do you know who we are? And I says to him, says I ‘Well I can’t be sure now, maybe if you took off the balaclavas’.
7- Michelle : “Clive is a wee prod from east Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove airport then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry surrounded by Russians and fenians.” –
8- Sister Michael : “I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.”
9- Orla : I dont really believe in lesbians
10- Erin : It wasnt bullying, it was attempted bullying!
11- Granda Joe : “Relax love, we’ve a good two or three hours before the rioting starts.”
12- Aunt Sarah : “Winking! At your age?! Christ, I feel sick.”
13- Erin : “I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda.”
14- Erin : “For God’s sake, how many times? It’s just an ad. She’s [Nicole] not a real person and neither is Papa.”
15- Sister Michael : “Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French.”
16- Granda Joe : “I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy; I have people working on it.”
17- Michelle : “This is just wrong” – Clare. ‘”So are those ski pants Clare, but it didn’t stop ye pulling them over your hole this morning”
18- Michelle : “I will buck a French lad so help me god.”
19- Michelle : “My auntie went to England years ago to get the abortion, never came back. Never got the abortion either. Look at you James!”
20- Michelle : “Clive woke up in Derry surrounded by Russians and Fenians.”
21- Michelle : “Watched this film last night. My da got it off Pirate Pauline.”
22- Ma Mary : “Half-load goes against everything I stand for, you know that da.”
23- Ma Mary : What were you doin heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, pa?
24- Michelle : “Your mammy said we could come up and look at the Russian!”
25- Michelle : “I’m a big fan of the fandango.”
26- Erin : “Look, I wanted to be an individual but my ma wouldn’t let me.”
27- Aunt Sarah : “Ach, Fionnula, what about you? I thought I could smell vinegar!”
28- Da Gerry : “They’re rifles! I don’t understand what connection golf clubs, spatulas or stilts would have to the Irish resistance!”
29- Ma Mary : “No-one back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist Gerry, they all thought you were a nutcase and took pity on you.”
30- Michelle : “You can’t ring Childline every time your mother threatens to kill you.”
31- Michelle : “We got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging.”
32- Erin : “Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, ma!”
33- Erin : It wasn’t bullying, it was attempted bullying!”
34- Aunt Sarah : “If she’s not into walls, she’s not into walls, Erin love”
35- Aunt Sarah : “Aye, dead on Gerry. I’m going to give them a whole fiver, that’s definitely happenin’.”
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