1- Amy Santiago : If I’m ever going to make captain, I need a good mentor; I need my rabbi.
2- Detective Jake Peralta: “Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.”
3- Jake Peralta : I appealed to their sense of teamwork and camaraderie with a rousing speech that would put Shakespeare to shame.
4- Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!
5- Gina: Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays when Pac-Man dies.
6- Jake Peralta : God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.
7- Sergeant Terry Jeffords: “No waiting, just toasting. I want you to toast, now I wanna eat toast, gimme some toast!”
8- Jake Peralta : Well, frankly, I pity the lot of you. You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. I’m gonna slide on that slippery floor all the way from Holt’s office to the elevator.
9- Gina Linetti: “The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”
10- Peralta (as Fuzzy): I’ve been undercover so long, I’ve forgotten who I am. I have seen terrible things. I haven’t known the touch of a woman in many moons.
11- “Be myself, what kind of garbage advice is that?”
12- Gina Linetti: “Turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength. Like Paris Hilton re her sex tape.”
13- Jake Peralta : We’ve busted murderers; we’ve taken down cartels. But today we face the worst New York has to offer- the Fire Department.
14- Gina Linetti: You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying.
15- “I’d like your eight dollar-est bottle of wine please”
16- Jake Peralta : Aw, man. All the orange soda spilled out of my cereal.
17- Detective Charles Boyle: “That car is your superpower! Thor would never wager his hammer, and Neil Patrick Harris would never wager his showmanship!”
18- Sergeant Terry Jeffords: “I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.”
19- Charles Boyle : Oh, you’re useless! You’re completely useless! You are without a doubt the most incompetent detectives I’ve ever seen! And I’m including that bomb-sniffing dog, who humps all the bombs!
20- Peralta: I forgot to put up the posters and no one came, but don’t worry, because I donated five pints all by me-self.
21- “Eyes closed. Head first. Can’t lose”
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