“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”
If nobody hates you, you’re doing something wrong.
“If you talk to God you’re religious. If God talks to you, you’re psychotic.”
“There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is — in fact — a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate.”
The problem is, the world doesn’t work that way just because you want it to.
“You know what’s worse than useless? Useless and oblivious.”
“Humanity is overrated.”
“Never trust doctors.”
“Religion is the placebo of the masses.”
“Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we’re idiots cause we can’t figure out what’s causing it.”
“There are three choices in this life: be good, get good, or give up.”
“Welcome to the world. Everyone’s different, everyone gets treated different. You try fighting that, you end up dying of TB.”
“You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong.”
“If you’re dying, suddenly everybody loves you.”
“You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing’s ever right.”
“Perseverance does not equal worthiness.”
“Occam’s Razor. The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up.”
“The most successful marriages are based on lies.”
“Right and wrong do exist. Just because you don’t know what the right answer is — maybe there’s even no way you could know what the right answer is — doesn’t make your answer right or even okay. It’s much simpler than that. It’s just plain wrong.”
“It’s normal to be screwed up, but it’s really screwed up to romanticize it.”
“We formulate our questions based on the answers we want to hear.”
“Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn’t cost them everything they want in life.”
“Reality is almost always wrong.”
“What usually happens when you poke something with a stick? It pokes back.”
“You’d be surprised what you can live without.”
“Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re 90, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It’s always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can’t die with it.”
“You know what’s worse than useless? Useless and oblivious.”
“Either God doesn’t exist or he’s unimaginably cruel.”
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