If there’s one thing Diane Morgan doesn’t lack, it’s originality. With her signature deadpan delivery and a sharp eye for the absurdities of modern life, Morgan has become one of the most distinctive comic voices in British television. Whether it’s as the hilariously misinformed Philomena Cunk or in her own musings about life, fame, and society, she manages to make everything sound both funny and quietly profound.
Below are 23 of Diane Morgan’s best quotes, each showcasing her unique blend of wit, sarcasm, and self-deprecation. If you’ve ever felt like an oddball in a world that worships the mainstream, you’re going to love these.
Diane Morgan Quotes to Make You Laugh, Think, and Possibly Frown a Bit
- “I think some people can’t understand why you wouldn’t want kids but I can’t see any advantages at all. We’re overpopulated as it is. Plus, I hate thinking the only reason I’m here is to pop out a kid or two. I’d rather leave something else behind.”
- “I wasn’t a normal child. No boybands.”
- “There are always going to be angry people. I never get involved in Twitter. ’Cause where does it end? You just end up with people wanting to stab you.”
- “I love talking about myself! Why would you not want to talk about yourself?”
- “I’ve just got a very still, deadpan face, and I know how to use it.”
- “I want to play oddballs. I want to play weirdos. There’s not enough weird. Everything just seems a bit mainstream to me, and I long for anything that’s a bit unusual.”
- “Sitcoms are usually sweet with no viciousness.”
- “I’m from a long line of really negative people.”
- “While other kids were into New Kids on the Block, I was into Harold Lloyd and Stan Laurel.”
- “The interviews themselves last a couple of hours and are cut down, so you can take your time lulling someone into a false sense of security before you hit them with the really weird questions.”
- “I’ve only written stand‑up and sketch before, so writing something long‑form on my own is proving quite difficult. But I’m enjoying it as well.”
- “I don’t want to play a copper. I couldn’t do it.”
- “So I was thinking I go to America. I think that would work, conquering America. Because they’re so upbeat and positive and polite.”
- “You can get an interview that goes smoothly at any time.”
- “I don’t want to do many panel shows. I’m a comic actor, not a comedian. There would be something wrong in Steve Coogan or Julia Davis doing panel shows all the time.”
- “I’m generally not interested in Shakespeare or ‘Broadchurch’. I only want to make people laugh, really.”
- “People get so heated about it and can’t see the funny side, I think. And plus, everything’s been said. It must be really difficult to come up with new jokes about Brexit.”
- “When I was at drama school, people weren’t taking pictures of themselves every five minutes. So I didn’t realise how I looked. It was only when people started taking pictures of themselves that I looked at myself and thought: ‘Oh my God, I look really miserable.’ Even when I’m happy I look sad.”
- “I’m happy doing what I’m doing. I do think, though, there were great comic actors like Thora Hird and Max Wall who only got taken seriously when they did straight roles at the end of their careers.”
- “I’m often spotted when I’m staring at something open‑mouthed and I’m sure people must think I’m not acting.”
- “My neutral accent is Bolton.”
- “I’ve always wanted to make people laugh. It’s been my only ambition, ever since my dad introduced me to the genius of the great comedians: Tony Hancock, Woody Allen, people like that.”
- “I’ve always wanted to do a sketch show. And they’ve sort of gone out of fashion for a bit, or they’ve just stopped doing them for whatever reason.”
Final Thoughts: Long Live the Oddballs
Diane Morgan has a way of cutting through the noise with brutal honesty and brilliant absurdity. Her comedy isn’t for everyone—and that’s exactly what makes it so refreshing. In a world saturated with overly polished personas, Morgan remains gloriously weird, wonderfully sarcastic, and refreshingly real.
If you haven’t yet watched Cunk on Earth, Motherland, or After Life, do yourself a favor. And keep these quotes in your back pocket next time someone tells you to “smile more”—just give them your best deadpan Diane Morgan stare.
The post The Unmistakable Wit of Diane Morgan: 23 Brilliant Quotes That Sum Up Her Genius appeared first on NSF News and Magazine.