Dorothy : “Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.”
Rose : “It’s like we say in St. Olaf — Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund’s Day without the headless boy.”
Sophia : I’m an old white woman. I’m not supposed to have color. You want color? Talk to Lena Horne.
Sophia : “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.”
Blanche: Nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of being a devastatingly beautiful woman.
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, have I given any indication at all that I care?
Sophia : After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone!
Blanche : No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist…except of course, when they were institutionalized!
Blanche : “Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?”
Blanche: That child over there is trying to steal my daddy away. She ain’t better but a tick on a slow-moving hound dog.
Dorothy: Oh, c’mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind. Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.
Sophia: Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I’d rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds; that I don’t like.
Rose: Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time. Blanche: Set the scene, have we been drinking?
Sophia: Jealousy is an ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you, in anything backless.
Blanche: Grandma Hollingsworth always said I was a little flighty…or was it a little floozy?
Dorothy: They were all buying T-shirts, you know, the ones that say, ‘Today is the first day of the end of your life.’
Blanche: “I’ve been having a good time, and there wasn’t even a man in the room.”
Blanche Devereaux (Rue Mcclanahan) :
I feel that you have backed me into a corner, and when I am backed into a corner, I come out fightin’ like a wildcat. Unless I’ve had too much to drink, in which case I slide down the wall and make mad passionate love on the carpet.
Blanche : “Well, nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman.”
Blanche: I slept with my two brothers until I was seventeen. I was engaged to one for a very short period of time, but that’s a separate story.
Dorothy : “No! No, I will not have a nice day!”
Dorothy: Oh, I remember when Stanley told me he was having an affair. It was at least 24 hours before I cut the crotches out of all his slacks.
Sophia : “Have I given you any indication that I care?”
Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan : Everything I have, you try to steal. May the bags under your eyes grow so large your head falls in ’em!
Dorothy: Ma, I have a feeling you’re lying. Rose: Dorothy, be positive. Dorothy: Okay, I’m positive you’re lying.
Sophia: My son married a welder. Too bad she didn’t weld his zipper shut. They got ten kids they can’t afford.
Rose: I know I look square, but I’m like my father’s tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil till the cows come home.