Chief Wiggum Quotes: Chief Clancy Wiggum is a fictional character from the long-running animated television series “The Simpsons.” He is the Chief of Police in the fictional town of Springfield, where the show is set. Chief Wiggum is known for being somewhat incompetent, lazy, and overweight, often providing comic relief through his bumbling and clueless behavior.
Chief Wiggum Quotes
1. “Chief Wiggum: Oh, I’m uh.. on a road, uh.. looks to be asphalt. Um, ah geez, trees, shrubs um… I’m directly under the earth’s sun… now!”
2. “Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops.
Chief Wiggum: They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?”
3. “Eddie: She’s locked in the car and refuses to move.
Chief Wiggum: Did you flash your lights?
Eddie: Yes.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I’m fresh out of ideas.”
4. “Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a… car of some sort, heading in the direction of… you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.”
5.” Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency, he called me, Chief Piggum! (Everybody laughs.) Oh ah, now I get it! Haha, that’s good!”
6.” Chief Wiggum: We won! We won! Unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, we won’t be going out for pizza.”
7. “Homer: We’ll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!”
8.” Chief Wiggum: I’m afraid we’ve got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo.”
9. “Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I’m the chief here! Bake ’em away, toys.
Lou: What’d you say, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid said.”
10. “Chief Wiggum: Ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine.”
11. “Chief Wiggum: Ah he’s a dumb kid, but he’s an above average dog. Roll over, son!”
12. “Chief Wiggum: Uh, no you’ve got the wrong number. This is 9-1… 2.”
13. “Lou: There’s a couple of guys fighting at the aquarium, Chief.
Chief Wiggum: They still sell those frozen bananas?
Lou: I think so.
Chief Wiggum: Let’s roll!”
14. “Chief Wiggum: I’d like to help you ma’am, but, heh heh, I’m afraid there’s no law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: I’m pretty sure there is.
Chief Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle.”
15. “Chief Wiggum: Looks like you bought yourself a lottery ticket…to jail!
Lou: He’s unconscious, sir.
Chief Wiggum: Ah, they can still hear things.”
16. “Chief Wiggum: You know you’re not suppose to go in there. What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?”
17. “Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer, and I am the… um… What cures cancer?”
18 . “Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news; your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God! He’s dead?!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: My name’s Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband’s DWI?
Chief Wiggum: Um, why don’t you talk to that officer over there? I’m going out to lunch.”
19. “Umpire: Okay, let’s go over the ground rules. You can’t leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, we know how to play softball!”
20. “Chief Wiggum: Simpson, step away from the orphan, do not give him any more love. I repeat, do not give him any more love.”
21. “Chief Wiggum: I’d never acted before in my life, but, uh, if the sea captain could be in the show, why not me? I’ve even got a catchphrase. N’yah! Wah! Wah-wah-wah! No, I lost it.”
22. “Chief Wiggum: Lighten up, son. If he was going to commit a crime would he have invited the number one cop in town? Now where did I put my gun? Oh yeah, I set it down when I got a piece of cake.”
23. “Chief Wiggum: I’ve got everything I need to convict your boy, except for motive, means, and opportunity.
Lou: You also have no evidence.
Chief Wiggum: That’s implied.”
24. ” Chief Wiggum: Are you sure? Because we’ve brought you a lot of flimsy cases. Like that goat we accused of income tax evasion.”
25. “Lisa: Nobody form any opinions while I’m gone.
Chief Wiggum: Well, hurry! We have no minds of our own.”
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