BoJack : “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be.”
Sextina Aquafina : “I think about my child’s heartbeat and oh, it makes me weep. I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul. Because I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole.”
BoJack : “Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst.”
BoJack : “The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn’t the search for meaning; it’s just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead.”
Henry Winkler : “There is no shame in dying for nothing. That’s why most people die.”
BoJack : “You are a horrible person, and you not understanding that you’re a horrible person, doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.”
BoJack : I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast!
BoJack Horseman : “You sleep on my couch and you don’t pay rent. I’ve had tapeworms that are less parasitic. I don’t even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place.”
Princess Carolyn : “Laura! Clear our my schedule! I have to push a boulder up a hill and then have it roll over me time and time again with no regard for my well-being! ”
Princess Carolyn : “That woman can knock a drink back like a Kennedy at a wake for another Kennedy, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get shit done!”
BoJack : “Same thing that always happens. You didn’t know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.”
BoJack : “I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.”
BoJack : “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m happy for the first time in my life and I’m not gonna feel bad about it. It takes a long time to realise how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy.”
Princess Carolyn : ” BoJack, I’m gonna level with you, honey. This whole you-hating-the-troops thing is not great.”
BoJack : “Yeah, I ate them all in one sitting because I have no self-control and I hate myself.”
BoJack : “Not understanding that you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.”
BoJack : “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone.”
BoJack : “Dead on the inside, dead on the outside.”
BoJack Horseman : “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone. And I’ll never get it back in me. It’s too late.”
BoJack : “I have half a mind…”
BoJack : “I can’t say no to people because I want everyone to like me.”
BoJack : “I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.”
Todd Chavez : “Things don’t become traditions because they’re good, BoJack, they become good because they’re traditions.”
BoJack : “It’s made up by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets. It’s like the happiness or the Munich Olympics, it doesn’t exist in the real world”
BoJack : “We’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less.”
BoJack : “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that.”
Mr. Peanutbutter : “Crack an egg on your head. Let the yolk drip down.”
BoJack : “your girlfriend has a stripper name”
Diane Nguyen :
“It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day. I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy? ‘ It just makes me more miserable. I don’t know If I believe in it, real lasting happiness, All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows ? I don’t think they exist.”