Single Drunk Female Quotes: Single Drunk Female tells the story of Samantha Fink, who, after being in an embarrassing situation, must return to her bullying mother to stay sober and avoid jail time.
1- “It doesn’t matter. I could do this job drunk, sober, jugging. You name it. I could do it.” -Sam
2- “You’re here because someone got you the best deal I’ve ever seen.” -Probation officer
3- “I miss being a drunk. There was a lot less accountability.” -Sam
4- “I love that you’re here. I hate that you have to be here for yourself.” -Carol
5- “Brit, are you serious? Do you think I would be doing this if I had $5,000?” -Sam
6- “Part of your recovery is to act like an adult in the world and figure out a solution.” -Olivia
7- “It’s your first sober paycheck. You should be proud.” -Mindy
8- “No one told me this was like the high school cafeteria again, only this time I’m way less cute.” -Sam
9- “An apology is like jumping over a puddle. An amends is like rebuilding a bridge you blew up.” -Olivia
10- “I waited 25 minutes in line to get a corndog with no condiments just the way you like it.” -Felicia
11- “Show up for the people that matter and they will show up” -Olivia
12- “Happy Saint Patrick’s Day or as I call it, the purge for sober people.” -Mindy
13- “This is the one. It’s the first dress that hasn’t made me want to burst into tears when I look in the mirror.” -Brit
14- “You want to know my geekiest move ever? Treat every day like a video game. Check off my goals, rack up some points, and if I don’t give in to the temptations of the evil wizard Drink-o, I get a reward.” -Mindy
15- “Listen. We’re on different timelines. If we were both newcomers, this would have ended up very differently.” -James
16- “Are you though? I endured pirate jokes every day for a month.” -Nathaniel
17- “I don’t know how to feel. There’s an odd comfort to failure.” -James
18- “Just be yourself, not your old self, but your new self, but not the new self from today. Focus on the fun parts and don’t worry about the sad stuff.” -Nathaniel
19- “I got kicked out of my family on Thanksgiving. We can be monsters together.” -James
20- “Felicia, thank you for not giving up on me, even though you definitely should have.” -Sam
21- “Congratulations! Go revel in your freedom.” -Gail
22- “There’s no such thing as one drink with us. You know that.” -Sam
23- “I didn’t realize this was a runaway bride situation.” -Sam
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