1- “Anything to keep me from picturing Josie’s tragic visit to the shire.” – Lizzie Saltzman
2- “I just have this feeling that everything is going to work out just fine.” – Lizzie Saltzman
3- “I’m getting back to me. I am who I am.” – Lizzie Saltzman
4- “We’re not in the prison yard, ass hat!” – Lizzie Saltzman
5- “Ew. Wait, that leaves me with High-and-Mighty Granger. Like Hermione Granger, but just more stuck-up?” – Lizzie Saltzman
6- “Alright sister Satan let’s dance, but I’m not going to get my Merge on until I know that the rest of the school is safe.” – Lizzie Saltzman
7- “I’ll take the cute vampire, I guess.” – Lizzie Saltzman
8- “For the record this huge act of selflessness fully cancels out all of my previous misdeeds.” – Lizzie Saltzman
9- “Wade? Okay, well, you’re grieving, so I will overlook that suggestion.” – Lizzie Saltzman
10- “Unchain me and maybe I will tell you, you thrift store Hobbit.” – Lizzie Saltzman
11- “Okay, I knew I’d need my speech. You know, when MG and Alyssa hooked up, I wanted to crawl into a hole for days.” – Lizzie Saltzman
12- “Where do you stand on Ewoks?” – Lizzie Saltzman
13- “Great. Dad wants us to run the tour for prospective students.” – Lizzie Saltzman
14- “We are three bad ass which is in one moderately competent bird.” – Lizzie Saltzman
15- “You only get one chance to make a good first impression, and you don’t want to be the girl that wears a uniform to a school that doesn’t have uniforms.” – Lizzie Saltzman
16- “This is why we don’t trust plans to Muppet babies.” – Lizzie Saltzman
17- “It’s semantics, okay?” – Lizzie Saltzman
18- “I prefer to die with dignity.” – Lizzie Saltzman
19- “Ask Landon. He’s probably off somewhere writing a song about banging you.” – Lizzie Saltzman
20- “This whole time I’ve just been seeing things, and hearing things and feeling things that no one else does and it’s scary. It’s more scarier than any demon in my head, although that sucks too.” – Lizzie Saltzman
21- “Nothing, unless you consider astral projecting into a prison world to search for your frenemy’s goo-ified phoenix boyfriend problematic.” – Lizzie Saltzman
22- “Apparently not long enough to figure out something cleaver to say” – Lizzie Saltzman
23- “Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” – Lizzie Saltzman
24- “I’m unique and special. And for some reason, I’m really emo about it. Wait here while I go sacrifice myself unnecessarily.” – Lizzie Saltzman
25- “On a scale from horrific to apocalyptic, a 12.” – Lizzie Saltzman
26- “No name, but the Fork of Saving Your Ass has a nice ring to it.” – Lizzie Saltzman
27- “A freaking field day? As in an entire day spent in an actual field? That’s your plan to get everyone to stop looking at Jo like she’s an ax murderer?” – Lizzie Saltzman
28- “Nothing that you or I will be proud of so remember this and try to forget what I’m about to do next.” – Lizzie Saltzman
29- “I am my biggest fan and even I know that Lord Josiemort is going to squash me like a bug.” – Lizzie Saltzman
30- “Dad, that’s impossible. I’ll have to deploy the nuclear option which is me backsliding into using my mean girl bully pulpit to persuade everyone to forgive and forget all of the awful things that Jo did, and I’m just not that person anymore.” – Lizzie Saltzman
31- “That wreath can’t go there. That is where the doves are being released which is after the video, remember?” – Lizzie Saltzman
32- “Okay, that settles it. My sister is definitely a monster. Who else would decorate for our birthday party with black?” – Lizzie Saltzman
33- “This stupid potion of yours is going to work, right? Because it tasted like feet.” – Lizzie Saltzman
34- “Well, in that case, screw personal growth.” – Lizzie Saltzman
35- “I’ve thought about becoming a vampire. Of course I’ve thought about it. If I did, there wouldn’t be a merge. And my skin would stay flawless forever.” – Lizzie Saltzman
36- “We can take this thing out, okay? We are three badass witches and one moderately competent bird.” – Lizzie Saltzman
37- “Relax. I’ll just ask him about Star Wars and then he’ll talk the whole time.” – Lizzie Saltzman
38- “So you get to see all of these amazing alternate universes but then eventually everything just resets back to normal and the heroes don’t even remember any of it? Lame!” – Lizzie Saltzman
39- “Dumb? Selfish? Controlling?” – Lizzie Saltzman
40- “I fancy sex with you. The jury’s out on all the rest.” – Lizzie Saltzman
41- “Reaganomics? Recreational cocaine? Jams?” – Lizzie Saltzman
42- “Remember, just casually walk by him and as soon as the sphinx sees you, I’ll use magic to open the bars and then he’ll grab you and take his new toy back to Malivore.” – Lizzie Saltzman
43- “More like protect Josie from Landon by warning her she’s about to have sex with a human sized muppet.” – Lizzie Saltzman
44- “I accidentally killed your hamster. I siphoned you to cheat on finals. And I actually think you’re kind of cool.” – Lizzie Saltzman
45- “Epic former frenemy reunion is going to have to wait.” – Lizzie Saltzman
46- “Josie and Landon didn’t have sex which means you might still want to plant your flag on Muppet Treasure Island.” – Lizzie Saltzman
47- “Nope, I am super crazy. At least there’s a reason this time. The demon’s in me.” – Lizzie Saltzman
48- “Ugh, this is a nerdgasm, not a plan.” – Lizzie Saltzman
49- “Do I look pretty when I play quarterback?” – Lizzie Saltzman
50- “Now that you’ve watered the garden of Josie’s eternal flower, I would think that you would hold that to be sacred.
Landon: Please tell me that’s a metaphor.” – Lizzie Saltzman
51- “Oh, I’m sorry. We can’t all be born with resting concerned pouty face.” – Lizzie Saltzman
52- “Dearest father, does this dangerous monster happen to be a magical pony?” – Lizzie Saltzman
53- “For once, your weird relationship with my dad actually comes in handy!” – Lizzie Saltzman
54- “Why wouldn’t I be? Mom’s coming home, I had sex with Raf, my pores are practically invisible.” – Lizzie Saltzman
55- “So practice. Emma has this prism that simulates a conversation. She makes me use it to talk to my mom and my dad when I’m in a state.” – Lizzie Saltzman
56- “If you would be happy to be my date to my birthday on Friday.” – Lizzie Saltzman
57- “Unless this sentient jar of artisanal mayonnaise activated a new artifact.” – Lizzie Saltzman
58- “I’m not worried about losing the election. I’m worried about what I’m going to wear to my victory rally. The outfit makes the speech.” – Lizzie Saltzman
59- “A direct result of that bitch Dana’s sabotage.” – Lizzie Saltzman
60- “This makes no sense, dad. Why are we being punished?” – Lizzie Saltzman
61- “I am withdrawing from Miss Mystic Falls, effective immediately.” – Lizzie Saltzman
62- “New plan. The gloves are off. Let’s burn these bitches to the ground. We’re going to give these townies a taste of what we’re really made of.” – Lizzie Saltzman
63- “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that on a poster at the dentist’s.” – Lizzie Saltzman
64- “Dad loves Hope more than us.” – Lizzie Saltzman
65- “Alyssa Chang made a broom fly in physics last year but Rick Rogers fell 30 feet during practice so real life Quidditch remains an elusive pipe dream.” – Lizzie Saltzman
66- “Let’s hit the dining hall and carb load. It’s game day.” – Lizzie Saltzman
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