1- “Yeah, the cut throats and the pigs. But who wants all that blood spilled, judge, huh? Isn’t there a simpler way of not pissing off the big vipers?” -Al Swearengen
2- “I’d rather try touching the moon than take on a whore’s thinking.” -Al Swearengen
3- “The question is: until reinforced, can we learn the ways of church mice.” -Al Swearengen
4- “Get a fuckin’ haircut. Looks like your mother fucked a monkey.” -Al Swearengen
5- “Let’s leave it all alone. I’m stupidest when I try to be funny.” -Al Swearengen
6- “Pain or damage don’t end the world, or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you’re dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man-and give some back.” -Al Swearengen
7- “Bloodletting on my premises that I ain’t approved I take as a f***ing affront. It puts me off my feed.” -Al Swearengen
8- “They’re hypocrite cocksuckers. And the fuckin’ lyin’ instruments and tactics they use to fuck people up the ass can be turned against them.” -Al Swearengen
9- “Act averse to nasty language and partial to fruity tea.” -Al Swearengen
10- “Every fuckin’ beatin’ I’m grateful for. Every fuckin’ one of them. Get all the trust beat outta you. And you know what the fuckin’ world is.” -Al Swearengen
11- “I wouldn’t trust a man who wouldn’t try to steal a little.” -Al Swearengen
12- “You can’t slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve.” -Al Swearengen
13- “Don’t I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made f**king resolution.” -Al Swearengen
14- “We teach a special sweeping technique here.” -Al Swearengen
15- “The obvious merits utterance. Character is f**king pertinent.” -Al Swearengen
16- “Wave a penny under the Jew’s nose. They have living breath in them, brings ’em right round.” -Al Swearengen
17- “Pain or damage don’t end the world.” -Al Swearengen
18- “Walk in unannounced is a good way to get yourself killed, Doc.” -Al Swearengen
19- “Change ain’t looking for friends. Change calls the tune we all dance to.” -Al Swearengen
20- “This bloated tick, Claggett, feeding on the neck of the fucking military.” -Al Swearengen
21- “Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.” -Al Swearengen
22- “The direction of my thoughts–with the sustained fucking stupidity that you’re exhibiting, I hesitate to voice them–is that you might want to train for Phil’s former position.” -Al Swearengen
23- “You can’t slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve.” -Al Swearengen
24- “Summon from Farnum that cunt with the long Kraut moniker.” -Al Swearengen
25- “The world ends when you’re dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back.” -Al Swearengen
26- “Sometimes I wish we could just hit ’em over the head, rob ’em, and throw their bodies in the creek.” -Al Swearengen
27- “That applies to you most, fuckin’ sittin’ in that chair distracting my fuckin’ thinking. If I have to come over there, I’ll cut your fuckin’ throat for you, pen yet put to paper or not.” -Al Swearengen
28- “Say what you’re gonna say or prepare for eternal fucking silence.” -Al Swearengen
29- “Over time, your quickness with a cocky rejoinder must have gotten you many punches in the face.” -Al Swearengen
30- “Oh, do you worry for her, Dan? Wandering the muck of our thoroughfare, her tiny self all but swallowed up in horseshit?” -Al Swearengen
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