Sanford and Son Tv Show Quotes
Fred Sanford: “Telling Esther there’s no God is like telling Jimmy Carter there’s no more toothpaste.”
Grady Wilson: “Don’t you go in my room by mistake, cause if I pull back them covers and see you I might have a stroke and die.”
Fred G. Sanford: ” Let me tell you somethin’, Esther. Every time I see you it makes me wish birth control was retroactive.”
Fred Sanford: “My my poor couch. I bet you never been sat on by a buffalo!”
Aunt Esther Anderson: “Woodrow you came here with teeth, do you want to leave here with teeth”
Lamont Sanford: “Grady, you’re gonna be the first person in history to get busted for molesting a vegetable.”
Fred G. Sanford: “I’ve come a long way from St. Louie, but not far enough. B.B. King is gonna kill me!”
Fred G. Sanford: “Eathquakes on the coast, 120-degree temperatures on the desert; they oughtta change the name of California to Shake n’ Bake, USA!”
Fred Sanford: “I ain’t afraid to give you one across the lips.”
Uncle Woodrow ‘Woody’ Anderson: “Listen to this, Fred: “Roses are red / mustards are green / come over for dinner / and we’ll lick our plates clean.””
Fred G. Sanford: ” I can see my tombstone: “Fred Sanford lies here. 1908 to 1975. Died from an overdose of ugly.””
Fred Sanford: “Polly-Esther – that’s you. Half woman, half parrot!”
Fred G. Sanford: “Freddy’s life is goin’ down the drain / God, pull out the stopper / stole money from my only son / for these lousy Whopper Choppers!”
Fred Sanford: “She’s a lush and you a dummy. My granbaby will be a lummy”
Fred Sanford: ” There’s got to be some mistake. This is not my Lena, this is someone’s hyena.”
Fred Sanford: “I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.”
Fred Sanford: “For $500 dollars, I can turn Yewell Gibbons into a meatloaf freak!”
Aunt Esther: “You just suck on that sucker, sucka.”
Fred Sanford: “Tell him in Puerto Rican – “Goat-o, get out of el house-o.””
Lamont Sanford: “When a person has three heart attacks, he’s dead. You had fifteen.”
Fred Sanford: “My name’s Fred Sanford. That’s S-A-N-F-O-R-D period.”
Fred Sanford: “You just dumb, son. You just dumb.”
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