Desperate Housewives Tv Show Quotes
Carlos: “When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain’t one of them”
Mary Alice: “When I was alive, I maintained many different identities. Lover, wife, and ultimately, victim. Yes, labels are important to the living. They dictate how people see themselves, like my friend Lynette. She used to see herself as a career woman, and a hugely successful one at that. She was known for her power lunches, her eye-catching presentations and her ruthlessness in wiping out the competition. But Lynette gave up her career to assume a new label, the incredibly satisfying role of full-time mother. But, unfortunately for Lynette, this new label frequently fell short of what was advertised”
Roy Bender: “It’s so important to say these things when you can because when it’s over, it’s over.”
Lynette: “I used to run a company with 85 people, and now I can’t even wrangle two kids without doping them?”
Bree : “I love to try out new recipes before the holidays. That way if the cookbook has it wrong, I can fix it”
Mary Alice : “Suburbia is a battleground, an arena for all forms of domestic combat. Husbands clash with wives, parents cross swords with children, but the bloodiest battles often involve women and their mothers-in-law. The war for control of Carlos began the night he proposed, and Gabrielle had been losing ground to Juanita ever since. From the prenuptial agreement which she reluctantly signed, to the selection of wedding music she despised, the color of the house paint she hadn’t wanted … Gabrielle had suffered one defeat after another”
Gabrielle : “As I see it good friends avoid each other after being humiliated, but great friends pretend nothing happened in the first place”
Mary Alice : “Keeping secrets is a lonely business. That’s why we all search for someone to confide in: an ally who will understand, an advisor who we can trust, a friend who will never judge.”
Mary Alice : “There is a widely read book that tells us everyone is a sinner. Of course, not everyone feels guilt over the bad things they do. But Bree Van De Kamp did. In fact, Bree had spent most of her life feeling guilty. As a child, she felt guilty about not getting straight A’s. As a teenager she felt guilty about letting her boyfriend go to second base. As a newly-wed, she felt guilty about taking three weeks to get out her thank you cards. But she knew the transgressions of her past were nothing compared with the sin she was about to commit”
Mary Alice : “When we see an opportunity in life, we have to take it. Whether it’s the hope of winning back the love of our life, a shot at proving our worth, or the chance to show a child the right path, but sometimes when we answer the call we have no idea what opportunity awaits us.”
Bree : “Good friends offer to help in a crisis; great friends don’t take no for an answer”
Mary Alice : “Every morality play has its cast of characters. There is always an innocent victim…a deceitful villain…a prosecutor who seeks the truth…a magistrate that dispenses justice…and a lawyer who charges too much”
Bree : “Think about how good men are at lying on the spot. Imagine if you gave them time and a pen”
Mary Alice : “Yes, love can bring out the best in us…the confidence to move on, the courage to tell the truth, the strength to keep hoping, but sometimes what surprises us the most isn’t what love brings out but who it brings back.”
Mary Alice : “Suburbia is a place filled with responsible people trying to live responsible lives. Of course, even the most responsible among us, has mistakes in their past. Mistakes they’d like to forget. Mistakes that sometimes come back to haunt them”
Mary Alice : “Children come into the world with their own agendas. Some to brighten our days, some to test our patience, some to give us purpose, some to take care of us. Yes, when they come children change everything. Especially when they’re not invited”
Mary Alice : “As much as death takes from us, it also gives. It teaches us what is truly important, like giving back after a lifetime of taking, going after something we should have never let go of, or looking on to what made us who we are.”
Mary Alice : “There is a look that parents of well behaved children, give to the parents of the not so well behaved. A look that says ‘you should learn to control your kids. After all, they’re your responsibility’. Of course, it was easy for Susan to feel smug with a daughter like Julie. She always brought home straight A’s. She was helpful around the house. She was bright, affectionate, and considerate of others. To her mother’s way of thinking, Julie was the perfect child. Unfortunately, Susan was about to discover that no such creature existed. There is also a look that parents of not so well behaved children give to parents like Susan. It says, “welcome to the club””
Mary Alice : “Yes, life is a journey, one that is much better travelled with a companion by our side. Of course, that companion can be just about anyone… a neighbor on the other side of the street… or the man on the other side of the bed. The companion can be a mother with good intentions… or a child who’s up to no good. Still, despite our best intentions, some of us will lose our companions along the way. And then the journey becomes unbearable. You see, human beings are designed for many things, but loneliness isn’t one of them.”
Mary Alice : “No matter how secure we are, we all experience moments of dread. It may be just before we open our credit card bill or hand over a note to our teacher or step on the scale after a week away from the gym. Yes, we all experience moments of dread. And sometimes, we have no one to blame but ourselves.”
Bree : “You don’t understand. I’m not crazy . . . I just have a few issues.”
Mary Alice : “Sooner or later, the time comes when we all must become responsible adults, and learn to give up what we want, so we can choose to do what is right. Of course, a lifetime of responsibility isn’t always easy, and as the years go on, it’s a burden that can become too heavy for some to bear. But still we try to do what is best, what is good; not only for ourselves, but for those we love. -Zach and Julie interlude-. Yes, sooner or later, we must all become responsible adults. No one knows this better than the young”
Lonny : “It’s past noon, which means it’s now socially acceptable to start drinking!”
Robin : “No one judges the woman from the loony bin when there’s a stripper next door.”
Mary Alice : “Humiliation—it’s not always something we can avoid.”
Mary Alice : “Most mothers will tell you their children are a gift from God. Most mothers would also tell you that the gifts their children give them are less than heavenly. Lynette had suffered through art work made in kindergarten, spice racks made in summer camp, and jewelry made at the scout jamboree. But this day, Lynette Scavo received a gift every mother dreams of. One she wasn’t embarrassed to display. Lynette knew she’d cherish the memory of that moment for the rest of her life. The memory of that moment was ruined the very next day. Yes, most mothers will tell you their children are a gift from God. Most mothers will also tell you there are some days when you wish you could return them”
Mary Alice : “We all honor heroes for different reasons. Sometimes for their daring, sometimes for their bravery, sometimes for their goodness. But mostly we honor heroes because at one point or another, we all dream of being rescued. Of course, if the right hero doesn’t come along, sometimes we just have to rescue ourselves”
Mary Alice : “Marriage is a simple concept. Basically, it’s a contract between two people. It binds them together for life in the hopes that they can live happily ever after. Sadly, some contracts were made to be broken”
Mary Alice : “We all take the gift of life for granted, if only we could slow things down because before you knew it, the gift is gone.”
Lynette : “I’m a bitch.. with a capital C.”
Mary Alice : “It was at that moment it occurred to Ida, God may work in mysterious ways, but he isn’t particularly subtle.”
Mary Alice : “Cameras are simple tools designed to capture images. Images that tell us more about ourselves than we realize. They remind us of the long journey we’ve taken. The loved ones who traveled alongside of us. Those we lost along the way. And those waiting for us on the road ahead.”
Mary Alice : “Everyone understands the nature of war. We also understand that victory depends on the cards that we have been dealt. Some, when faced with a bloody battle, simply give in. But for some, surrender is unacceptable. Even though they know it will be a fight to the death.”
Gabrielle : “I’ve read the Constitution, and it does not protect ugly people!”
Mary Alice : “Temptation comes to all of us. Whether we succumb to it or not depends on our ability to recongnize it’s disguise. Sometimes it comes in the form of an old flame, flickering back to life. (Shot of Susan sitting by her fireplace, touching her lips) Or a new friend, who can be so much more (Shot of Peter helping Bree sober up with coffee) Or a young child who awakens feelings we didn’t know we had. And so we give in to temptation, all the while knowing come morning, we’ll have to suffer the consequences. (Shot of Gabrielle and Carlos at their home. Gabby is holding the baby, while Carlos is looking out the window)“
Rex : “We’re not weird, we just seem like we are.”
Mary Alice : “Paranoia reminds you that no place is truly safe.”
Bree : “No, I can’t kill you today. I have Pilates.”
lynette scavo quotes