Family Guy Stewie Griffin Quotes
“You know mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!” – Stewie Griffin
“For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!” – Stewie Griffin
“Take your stinkin’ paws off me you damn dirty dog” – Stewie Griffin
“God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quiero pancakes! Done ma pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!” – Stewie Griffin
“Hello, I’m Stewie. Big fan” – Stewie Griffin
“I haven’t seen one female baby since we got here. This place is a sausage fest.” – Stewie Griffin
“Okay, whip them out woman! It’s time for the afternoon meal!” – Stewie Griffin
“Oh God! Oh it is so hard to find funny women, and you are hilarious…aahw, you’re like a female Bonnie Hunt.” – Stewie Griffin
“You’ve been making really creepy eye contact with me all morning, and I want it to stop right now.” – Stewie Griffin
“A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which … begins with the letter T” – Stewie Griffin
“Damn you ice cream, come to my mouth! How dare you disobey me!” – Stewie Griffin
“I like what comes out of Lois’ breasts better, but I like this too.” – Stewie Griffin
“if anyone’s gonna take that bitch down, it’s gonna be me” – Stewie Griffin
“Good lord! Am I a… porn baby?!”– Stewie Griffin
“I can’t deal with anything until after I’ve had my after-nap coffee.” – Stewie Griffin
“Let’s go find a big, black, sassy, nurse. There’s always one” – Stewie Griffin
“Every hot girl who can aim a camera thinks she’s a photographer. Ooh, you took a black and white picture of a lawn chair and its shadow. You must be so brooding and deep.” – Stewie Griffin
“Huh, that’s weird. Black guys usually don’t promote themselves” – Stewie Griffin
“I don’t understand why, if we’re a galaxy far far away, we still have to change in Atlanta.” – Stewie Griffin
“Hey anything is possible right? I once found the Batcave.” – Stewie Griffin
“You have a pop-up version of the Unabomber’s Manifesto?” – Stewie Griffin
“What kind of jerk alters time and then falls asleep?” – Stewie Griffin
“What are you looking at? You gonna propose?” – Stewie Griffin
“May every person that laughs at your sophmoric effort be a reminder of your eternal mediocrity and pierce your heart like a knife!” – Stewie Griffin
“It says here there’s a continental breakfast. Oh…the continent is Africa.” – Stewie Griffin
“I feel like once I get them on a schedule, every thing will be fine!” – Stewie Griffin
“Stand up is so 20 years ago. Twitter’s only three years ago” – Stewie Griffin
“It’s so salty and chunky where you don’t want it to be.” – Stewie Griffin
“I’m Brian. I like garbage peanut butter, and I wear my “I voted” sticker for a year and a half.” – Stewie Griffin
“Amazing. One second of a stranger’s voice on a phone, and you’ve got full Bollywood.” – Stewie Griffin
“Go… away… fat man” – Stewie Griffin
“Damn you vile woman, you’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb.”– Stewie Griffin