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Best 30 Rachel Green Quotes

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rachel friends quotes

“Why can’t parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?” – Rachel

“Oh My God. I’ve Become My Father. I’ve Been Trying So Hard Not To Become My Mother, I Didn’t See This Coming.” – Rachel

rachel Green quotes 9

“Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic.” – Rachel

“Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I’m not drinking on this date tonight: I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’m a Mormon, or I got so hammered last night I’m still a little drunk?” – Rachel

“Today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me.” – Rachel

Rachel Green quotes

“Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!” – Rachel

“You know what? I just shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore.” – Rachel

Rachel Green quotes

“Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I’m not drinking on this date tonight: I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’m a Mormon, or I got so hammered last night I’m still a little drunk?” – Rachel

rachel Green quotes

“We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.” – Rachel

“Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!” – Rachel

Rachel Green quotes

“Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait. I said maybe.” – Rachel

“Everyone I Know Is Either Getting Married Or Getting Pregnant…” – Rachel

“How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?” – Rachel

“I’m so happy and not at all jealous.” – Rachel

Rachel Green Quotes

“Does This Look Like Something The Girlfriend Of A Paleontologist Would Wear?” – Rachel

“I was spoiled, self-centred and you guys really took care of me.” – Rachel

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?” – Rachel

Rachel Green Quotes

“I’m Gonna Go Get One Of Those Job Things.” – Rachel

“Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom to. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffee house. First of all, the customer is always right. A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you: Sneeze Muffin.” – Rachel

Rachel Green Quotes

“Oh, That’s Okay, Girls Tend To Not Like Me.” – Rachel

“I’m 98% happy and 2% jealous.” – Rachel

“That’s a great story. Tell it while you’re getting me some iced tea.” – Rachel

“Yes, I Was 4 Years-Old And I Was On The Swing And Then All Of A Sudden My Hair Got Tangled In The Chain…” – Rachel

Rachel Green quotes

“Ross, I am a human doodle!” – Rachel

“How Do We End Up With These Jerks? We’re Good People.” – Rachel

“He’s So Pretty, I Want To Cry.” – Rachel

“It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat?” – Rachel


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