1- “This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed…bitch!” Jesse Pinkman
2- “We’re all on the same page. The one that says, if I can’t kill you, you’ll sure as shit wish you were dead.” Jesse Pinkman
3- “Possum. Big, freaky, lookin’ b***h. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin’ up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he’s irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything?” Jesse Pinkman
4- “What if this is like math, or algebra? And you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, and you get, like, zero douchebags?” Jesse Pinkman
5- “I am not turning down the money! I am turning down you! You get it? I want nothing to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to s**t, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg!” Jesse Pinkman
6- “You got me riding shotgun to every dark anal recess of this state. It’d be nice if you clued me in a little.” Jesse Pinkman
7- “Are we in the meth business, or the money business?” Jesse Pinkman
8- “So you do have a plan! Yeah Mr. White! Yeah Science!” Jesse Pinkman
9- “Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, age what, 60? He’s just gonna break bad?” Jesse Pinkman
10- “Look… look, you two guys are just… guys, okay? Mr. White… he’s the devil. You know, he is… he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you. Whatever… whatever you think is supposed to happen… I’m telling you, the exact reverse opposite of that is gonna happen, okay?”
11- “What good is being an outlaw when you have responsibilities?” Jesse Pinkman
12- “So no matter what I do, hooray for me because I’m a great guy? It’s all good? No matter how many dogs I kill, I just do an inventory and accept?”
13- “Right on. New Zealand. That’s where they made Lord of the Rings. I say we just move there, yo. I mean, you can do your art, right? Like, you can paint the local castles and shit. And I can be a bush pilot.” Jesse Pinkman
14- “You know what? Why I’m here in the first place? Is to sell you meth. You’re nothing to me but customers! I made you my bitch. You okay with that?” Jesse Pinkman
15- “Did you know that there’s an acceptable level of rat turds that can go into candy bars? It’s the government, jack. Even government doesn’t care that much about quality. You know what is okay to put in hot dogs? Huh? Pig lips and assholes. But I say, hey, have at it bitches ’cause I love hot dogs.” Jesse Pinkman
16- “Yeah Mr. White! You really do have a plan! Yeah science!” Jesse Pinkman
17- “I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushie then flushed down my toilet. I can’t even take a proper dump in there. I mean, the whole damn house has got to be haunted by now.” Jesse Pinkman
18- “Ah, like I came to you, begging to cook meth. Oh, hey, nerdiest old dude I know, you wanna come cook crystal? Please. I’d ask my diaper-wearing granny, but her wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the RV.” Jesse Pinkman
19- “You can’t admit, just for once, that I’m right. Come on. That O’Keeffe lady kept trying over and over until that stupid door was perfect.” Jesse Pinkman
20- “You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White.”
21- “Nah, come on man. Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass at like what, sixty, he’s just gonna break bad?” Jesse Pinkman
22- “Hey, you girls want to meet my fat stack?” Jesse Pinkman
23- “Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch. And let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred! Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin!” Jesse Pinkman
24- “Yeah. Totally Kafkaesque” Jesse Pinkman
25- “Look, I like making cherry product, but let’s keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don’t care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.” Jesse Pinkman
26- “If you don’t know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.” Jesse Pinkman
27- “So roll me further, bitch.” Jesse Pinkman
28- “Yo, Gatorade me, bitch.” Jesse Pinkman