1- Guillermo : Vampires love virgins. It’s their favorite food.
2- Colin : Am I a morning person? That would be an enthusiastic yes.
3- Guillermo : Being a vampire’s familiar is like being a best friend, who, who’s also a slave.
4- Nadja : We were so poor we used to used donkey dong for fuel and when the donkey dong ran out, we would have to burn the donkey.
5- Vladislav: We’re vampires, we don’t put down towels.
6- Deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool. Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fu*ked it.
7- Lazlo : I have recently rediscovered my love for topiary sculpture; the art of bush manipulation
8- Nandor : All secret meetings take place in the fancy room
9- Deacon: When you are a vampire you become very… , sexy!
10- Nadja : Do you remember that first time we made love? It was so passionate, I accidentally cut off your head.
11- Viago: Yeah some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone and then, you think, ‘Oooh, those are some nice pants!’.