1- Crow T. Robot: And if your hands were metal, that would mean something.
2- Crow T. Robot: Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!
3- Crow T. Robot: Oh, my god! My waffle! Oh the humanity!
4- Crow T. Robot: Hey! Who sneezed on the credits?
5- Crow T. Robot: G.I. Joe action set. Nerdy Joe not included.
6- Crow T. Robot: Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid… and I went ahead anyway.
7- Tom Servo: Captain’s log: a bunch of our ship fell off, and, nobody likes me.
8- Tom Servo: Crow you big dope, you can’t tunnel through space!
9- Tom Servo: I could’ve sworn we parked at the… Oh shit!
10- Crow T. Robot : Before I kill you, I want to show you how to properly filet a grouper.
11- Crow T. Robot: Puppet wranglers? There weren’t any puppets in this movie.
12- Crow T. Robot: Wow this must be what its like inside a bong! Whehue!
13- Tom Servo: That’s what happens when you leave a potato in the microwave!
14- Something gets damaged: “Mike broke the Hubble! Mike broke the Hubble!”
15- Tom Servo: Captain’s log: I’ve lost my toupee and girdle, and I can’t leave my room!
16- Mr. B Natural : “I was popular in high school. Why does my kid have to be such a dud?”
17- “Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around.”
18- Tom Servo: I’m experiencing a sensation altogether new to me, and frankly I love it!
19- We’re white, we’re white, we’re really really white, we’re really really really really white…
20- Crow T. Robot: Shall I compare thee to a summers daaaaaaaa…
21- Dr. Forrester: Oh, who doesn’t own an interositer these days?
22- Tom Servo: Self cleaning mutant. Leaves only the fresh scent of pine.
23- I’m glad you decided to give that dead girl another chance!”
24- “PACKERS WON THE SUPERBOWL!”
25- “No sir, that’s paper.” And, “We’ll start here, at goofy clown face.”
26- “I’ve replaced my toes with grapes.”
27- Tom Servo: They’re escaping under cover of afternoon in the largest car in the county!
28- Dr. Forrester: I’m feeling particularly evil because today’s experiment is a stinky cinematic suppository called “This Island Earth.” You may all bow down before me after this stinkburger.
29- “I had a dream I was stuck in the woods with a chunky backwards loser named rows dower”