Abby Sciuto : I love saying ‘per se.’ It’s one of those phrases no-one really knows what it means, but you use it anyway, ’cause…Am I off topic again?
Jimmy Palmer : I always say, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your family.
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Oh my God, I’m becoming Tony.
Mike Franks : Damn! You got old, Marine!
Officer Ziva David : Tony, your dying words will be, ‘I’ve seen this film’.
Abby Sciuto : Love is never having to read her her Miranda Rights.
Abby Sciuto : ‘You dudes in the Secret Service ever think about throwing yourselves in front of the president’s diet?’
Abby Sciuto : I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence
Abby Sciuto : “You may be smart, but my geek carries a gun!”
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : ‘Go over everything and I mean everything. Above his mattress, below his mattress, inside his mattress. If there is such a thing as a forth mattress dimension, go over that too.’
Anthony DiNozzo : DiNozzo: Big ‘D’, little ‘i’, big ‘N’, little ‘ozzo’.
Jimmy Palmer : You have captured his essence perfectly. His…anger. His intent. Uh, his bloodlust.
Anthony DiNozzo : I was just gonna tussle your hair. Sometimes it makes you smile.
Anthony DiNozzo : ‘What good’s it being an armed Federal Agent, if you can’t drive fast?’
Ducky: Danger, intrigue, a damsel in distress…I’m actually looking forward to it.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : No brothers, no uncles, my father passed years ago. I do have three ex-wives, whose names and addresses I will gladly fax on to you. Booh, he hung up.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : ‘What is it with the Germans and the alphabet thing? BMW, BMG, BASF – and they’re all B’s.’
Abby Sciuto : This guy is cleaner than clean, whiter than white. If you put him in a line up with snow, snow is going to jail.
Mrs. Victoria Mallard : One can always tell a woman’s intentions from her panties.
Timothy McGee : I’m dealing with my boat-phobia, Tony’s dealing with his rat-phobia, and Ziva’s dealing with her ghost-phobia
Timothy McGee : Can I take a braincheck?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : If I wanted to knock on doors all day, I would have joined UPS.
Ducky : I tire of saying ‘small horse.’
L.J. Gibbs : Go. Unhydrate
Timothy: After four months in the sub-basement, this is cozy. It’s like march of the Penguins down there.
Tony: I just got done playing furniture mover for this slightly demented old lady, and her pack of yappin hounds!”
Abby Sciuto : Abbycadabra
Ducky Mallard: You find me a liver in that leg, and I’ll estimate you a time of death
Abby Sciuto : I heard that, DiNozzo! Another wiseass comment like that and I will slap you so hard your grandchildren will feel it! You think that’s funny, McGee? Wipe that smile off your face!
Ducky : ‘Do you people find me…boring?’
Ziza David: I will kill you eighteen different ways with this paper clip.
Anthony DiNozzo : Probie, I have a pimple on my left buttox that is a better writer than you.
Tony: I’m going to need you on your knees over here Kate. It’s time to get dirty
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : When you’re a computer geek invading dungeons and fighting ogres, ‘Jethro’ doesn’t cut it.’
Abby Sciuto : In the land of forensic science technology the mass spectrometer is king.
Abby Sciuto : It’s more addictive than pistachios… Well, have you ever just eaten one pistachio?
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